She knows something is not right when everything around her is silent.  She just goes to a corner, ponders, cries, hates herself deep within.  She is the silent type, full of tears, when confronted with problems.  You cannot talk to her without her blaming herself.

This is me. That is the effect of being a victim of molestation as a child.

Growing up, it was hard to keep up with other girls my age.  I don't feel as normal as they are. And I cannot blame anybody. I told myself that I have to be strong.

And being strong is not easy when you know something is not right. Someone has to be blamed for what happened to me. Could it be my parents who weren't always around during my childhood? Could it be the guy who caused me pain? Could it be the marijuana that affected his system? Could it be me who was not able to distinguish between what is right or wrong?

I grew up not blaming anybody. I grew up struggling for my survival despite the darkness that has griped me. I am who I am today, and still wanting to be stronger each time. I always prepared myself for any problem that will come to me.

But I still cry every time this memory comes back. All I have to do it look at myself as an object in order not to feel self pity

Then I became so loving.  I love myself so much because I cannot expect anybody to love me and accept me as much as I accept myself.

Love is me....

THIS IS ME

Always been the kind of girl
That hid my face
So afraid to tell the world
What I've got to say

But I have this dream
Right inside of me
I'm gonna let it show
It's time to let you know
To let you know

This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light shine on me

Now I've found who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be
This is me

Do you know what it's like
To feel so in the dark?
To dream about a life
Where you're the shining star

Even though it seems
Like it's too far away
I have to believe in myself
It's the only way

This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light shine on me

Now I've found who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be
This is me

You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
I need to find you, I gotta find you

You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me
I need to find you, I gotta find you

This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light shine on me

There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be
This is me, this is me

Now I've found who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be
This is me

There is one thing that every peace-loving person desires in this life: that is world peace.  Villains in movies believe that peace is impossible, especially world peace where even couples can't find peace in their marriage.  Of course that is an overstatement.  Couple conflicts are inevitable. In fact, in healthy relationships, conflict is essential.

One day is a song by Bugoy Drilon, a local artist. The first time I heard the song, I thought it was foreign because I seldom hear a song almost reggae as this one. So happy to discover that its a Filipino artist who offered another interpretation of an Matisyahu piece.

The song struck me because of the martial law in Marawi due to the attacks of the Maute group, which is now considered a terror group in the Philippines.  The worst population affected there are the children.  They can no longer go to schools because of the wrath of continuous bombings which damaged public buildings, including schools and businesses.

It is really a desire for everyone, that
There will be no more wars
And our children will play
One day

Here is the rest of the lyrics:

ONE DAY - Bugoy Drilon

Sometimes I lay under the moon
And thank God I’m breathing
Then I pray, "Don’t take me soon"
‘Cause I am here for a reason

Sometimes in my tears I drown
But I never let it get me down
So when negativity surrounds
I know some day it’ll all turn around because…

All my life I’ve been waiting for
I’ve been praying for
For the people to say
That we don’t wanna fight no more
There will be no more wars
And our children will play
One day [x6]

It’s not about win or lose
Because we all lose
When they feed on the souls of the innocent
Blood-drenched pavement
Keep on moving though the waters stay raging

In this maze you can lose your way (your way)
It might drive you crazy but don’t let it faze you no way (no way)
Sometimes in my tears I drown (I drown)
But I never let it get me down (get me down)
So when negativity surrounds (surrounds)
I know some day it’ll all turn around because…

All my life I’ve been waiting for
I’ve been praying for
For the people to say
That we don’t wanna fight no more
There will be no more wars
And our children will play
One day [x6]

One day this all will change
Treat people the same
Stop with the violence
Down with the hate

One day we’ll all be free
And proud to be
Under the same sun
Singing songs of freedom like
One day [x2]

All my life I’ve been waiting for
I’ve been praying for
For the people to say
That we don’t wanna fight no more
There will be no more wars
And our children will play
One day

I just held you in my arms
so amazed with your charm
though your smile I seldom see
I know your happiness is me

I am trying to bring back the fun in making a poem but I can't seem to concentrate knowing my love is just beside me. It's too early in the morning and she is past asleep, probably mile away in her dreams, swept away by the lovely evening.  While browsing for some songs to write about, this song came along realizing that I have given her my all, and vice versa.

This is an Air Supply song which is part of my collection since high school. There were many Air Supply memories back then but this one is the freshest (although its really old). This is probably her age but who cares, it makes my heart beat fast for her and it will only beat one last time for her... through infinity.

Thank God she found me, trusted me, loved me.

I Want To Give It All Lyrics
(Graham Russell, Rex Goh)

Here I am again
I've come to see you smile
I know you understand
I have to say again
It's only for awhile

And still you're always here
Just waiting for my call
I wish I knew a Way
To give more than I do
I want to give it all

CHORUS
It doesn't happen every day
But it happened to me once before
Those early years I threw away
Now I only have to hear your voice
To make me feel so sure
That your love is why
I want to give it all

Don't the minutes fly
And hours just seem so few
With days apart so long
It's hard to spend my time
When I'm so far from you

And still you're always there
Just waiting for my call
I wish I knew a way
To give more than I do
I want to give it all

My late grandfather used to call me Olivia Newton John and fast forward today, I remember this song since it's my grandfather's birthmonth.  He introduced me to this song and I found it amusing.  The lyrics is easy to memorize, including its melody and rhythm.

It became a hit to me especially so that the people I lived with for more than three years.  They are so fond of country music and this is one such song that being always played whenever there are gatherings.

Looking at the way of my life now, i will always treasure the opportunity to be able to live with other tribes in our community.  This have become my life because it is where I have found the love of my life.

Welcome me back to the blog world, welcome my new found life.

Here is the lyrics for your appreciation. Enjoy!

Wherever you go
wherever you may wander in your life
Surely you know
I always wanna be there

Holding your hand
And standing by to catch you
when you fall
Seeing you through
In everything you do

[Chorus:]
Let me be there in your morning
Let me be there in your night
Let me change whatever's wrong and make it right
Let me take you through that wonderland
That only two can share
All I ask you is let me be there

Watching you grow
And going through the changes in your life
That's how I know
I'll always wanna be there

Whenever you feel
You need a friend to lean on here I am
Whenever you call
You know I'll be there

[Chorus:] 2X

All I ask you is let me be there

Thank you for bringing back the poet in me.

This is for you.

BE MINE, MY FOREVER

let me be better
by being my forever
'cause u and i together
would be a perfect couple

be mine alone is my prayer
be mine... until forever
for you are my laughter
my life and my all

you brought words to a letter
you brought brightness to my future
you are a meaning to ponder
you are my life's greatest wonder

for your smile inspires
your beauty abounds me
your sweetness my desire
your love sustains me

Here's another song that keeps bugging my busy brain.

It's a lovely song. The rhythm is perfect, the singer's voice is very clear.  I can feel his emotions, I can feel his sincerity, affection, loyalty, commitment.  One cannot help but fall if this is being sung for you.

I am a rational being. I haven't thought if being able to experience love again. I am that serious person who thought that romance is associated only with butterflies and floating hearts and floating feelings.  I have outgrown how it felt to be in love.  Perhaps, I have elevated my emotions to the higher level or maybe, my brain cells have completely overpowered my emotions.

I thought wrong.  Love is for any person, young or old. I stand corrected because for a very long time, I have again experienced love.  A love that is nothing but pure emotion, pure heart, pure soul.  There was no pretensions, no tensions, no reasons... just pure love.

And I am still experiencing it up until now and wish to experience it until I grow a lot older. I want to love like this. I want to remember this.

So to you who have brought back the soul in my heart, I am giving my all to you.

ALL OF ME
by John Legend

What would I do without your smart mouth
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can’t pin you down
What’s going on in that beautiful mind
I’m on your magical mystery ride
And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what hit me, but I’ll be alright

My head’s under water
But I’m breathing fire
You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind

‘Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I’ll give my all to you
You’re my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I’m winning
‘Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you

How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too
The world is beating you down 
I’m around through every mood
You’re my downfall, you’re my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can’t stop singing, it’s ringing, in my head for you

Cards on the table, we’re both showing hearts
Risking it all, though it’s hard

I give you all of me
And you give me all of you

Lyrics courtesy of
http://www.songlyrics.com/john-legend/all-of-me-lyrics/

I was thinking about the two sides of the coin.  It is related to the scientific fact: Opposite poles attract.  Then came this song on the background.

We never really can experience darkness without the concept of light.  We never can appreciate the value of a person when they are just there.  We are just too comfortable and familiar with each other until we let them go. We shoo them away by our mean words, thoughtless deeds, immature ways.  Then they are gone.

Life is short so let us spread love. We experience pain but let's love anyway and let that mean, immature and thoughtless person we care. We love no matter what.

"Let Her Go"

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
'Cause you loved her too much
And you dived too deep

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)
And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)
Will you let her go?

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go